Tiny Diapers in the house

When every person I see says "wow - you're getting close!" or "you look like you're gonna pop tomorrow" I figure that I better get out of denial and get mentally prepared for our new arrival.

I have 4 weeks a couple of days until, GULP, our new baby is here!

Unlike my previous 2 pregnancies, I'm not stressing about the room or any of the "stuff". A few things are checked off the list already like the big boy room is painted and almost set up and we've gone through the baby stuff we already own.

On the weekend, we did 'prep' a bit -bought this monkey some tiny diapers, a new crib sheet (just one, he/she needs *something* new) and some breast pads for me (!). Still need to drag out all the newborn clothes and run them through the washer but I have tons of pink and blue so we're set either way.

That's really all we've done. We don't even have a name picked out. Or a bag packed. Have not registered at the hospital. Have not made the list of everyone's phone numbers. We're comfortably 'unprepared'. I'm blissfully only thinking about March 2nd and this new baby's sweet arrival. I've not spent any time thinking about March 3rd and beyond..... mainly because I am scared to death.

I am not scared about the new baby or handling the introduction of a third child to the family. I'm worried about 2 things: Recovery & Life After Arrival.

The first, which is temporary, is healing properly. This is my third section and the recovery process took about 3x longer than it should have on #2. The main culprit was myself and pushing myself to get back to life much too quickly. I don't want to rush back again and wind up in weeks and weeks pain. But this brings us to the second worry which is directly connected....

How will I fit in my life? As a mom entrepreneur who works from home around her kids schedules and steals minutes where she can ... I'm about to lose what little time I do have. This scares the crap out of me because it will impact my recovery (how can it not?) and also I'm just panicked about how to continue on as before...?

First child I was on cushy maternity leave from my corporate job. I focused on what all moms do -- their precious baby. Delivery #2 happened just 3 months into the launch of momstown.ca when the company itself was still an infant so managing 2 kids + infant business was difficult but reasonable.

momstown.ca is probably well described as a toddler now. It's as fast growing and energetic as my 2 year old son. It's a wonderful phase but it's exhausting. HOW am I going to keep up? There is no 'maternity leave' from your own business or from your existing children, just maternity guilt on all fronts.

I asked momstown partner Christi for her tips (her third is turning one in February and I think she does an incredible job keeping all the balls in the air) and she actually laughed out loud at my request and told me it's about "getting by" not "making it work".

Sigh.

I'm going back to putting my head in the sand and I'm only thinking about now till March 2nd. Nothing past. I need those blinder things that horses wear to stay focused on the NOW. I want to stay calmly satisfied in my unpreparedness.

At least I have diapers in the house.