Do you know the Golden Rule? "Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You" or "Treat Others as you want to be treated"?
My dad drove that rule into our brains from a very young age and although it's tough to be perfect (even now as a mom!) I try to live by this rule. A bit of common sense and a whole lot of karma mixed in to make this a substantial rule to live by.
If you look it up it's actually the "ethic of reciprocity" and suggests that "a person attempting to live by this golden rule treats all people, not just members of his or her in-group, with consideration".
I have been stunned by the beautiful execution of this rule by our wonderful members of
momstown. I am continually encouraged by how gracious and welcoming our moms are to one another. Over and over I watch members reach out to one another in shockingly open and warm ways online and in-person. All members are treated with respect, dignity and an open mind. momstown overall lives by the Golden Rule.
Hmm.... I didn't feel that generous reciprocity today. In fact, I felt like I was kicked in the stomach 100 times.
In the our last blog, I talked excitedly about our recent press and highlighted the great front page article in the Guelph Mercury about momstown. I guess not every one was quite as excited about our arrival into town as we are, as there was a very interesting
letter to the editor this weekend written in response to the article.
The Guelph author of the letter - who is NOT a member of momstown nor has she had the chance to see momstown in action yet as momstown Guelph has not yet opened our doors - described momstown as a "gated community or exclusive club" and that "Momstown is like a high school clique or a university sorority in which those "undesirables" cannot become members. It is just another way to promote social exclusion."
What? How far away from our reality and how could anyone misread the vision of momstown to even suggest that our goal is anything but to be INCLUSIVE of all mothers.
It really hurt to learn that someone felt (and felt strongly enough to fling mud at) a grassroots establishment which has been founded on the basis of involvement, community activism, passion for parenting and absolute inclusion was a comparison for a high school clique!?
Admittedly, momstown does not exist in a bubble. Can anyone prevent 'cliques' from happening in the real world? But what momstown does do is lead by example, offer a warm welcome to all who are interested in joining and then provide uniquely supportive services in their community for parents.
One of our members actually read this letter first and then posted the letter on the Burlington message board to discuss because she was so offended by the letter. Countless other supportive posts followed ... some of the responses were:
"And I don't know about you, but I think that $45 a year for almost daily activities that are pretty much free is getting pretty good bang for your buck in this economy. I agree that you don't have to be rich or join a club to be a good parent, but you need support and encouragement when you doubt that you are a good parent. The ladies of momstown can certainly provide that to anyone who wants to listen."
"I am both a member of Momstown and have made use of the free programs at the drop in centres - they both have there benefits but I have not made the long lasting friendships from the drop ins that I have through Momstown."
"Maybe she is someone who has problems taking the plunge and getting involved. I agree that it is difficult to attend that first get together, not knowing anyone. However, for me at least, it only took that one meeting to realize what a friendly welcoming group of ladies I was dealing with. That in itself encouraged me to attend more and more events, at which I met more and more wonderful people."
"Everyone at every event that I have gone to have been so awesome. Since I joined Momstown, Burlington feels like home now. I felt like I was suffocating and Momtowns has been my lifeline. I'm a happier person even my husband notices, I felt so angry at him for making us move here. Anyways I guess that was just more of a rant, it just makes me upset that such an awesome lifeline is being disrespected! I just wanted to say to Ann-Marie, Christi, Jen and Alicia to keep up the great work you ladies are truly angels for helping as many people as you have!"
I have written my own letter to the editor in response correcting the misguided and unaware statements of the letter writer. We'll see if it is published this week. Not sure that I agree with the 'all publicty is good publicty' argument so will attempt to set the record straight.
Maybe the other angle of the golden rule could also be, what goes around, comes around...
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