3rd time around the block

It's not a leftover Hallowe'en pumpkin under my shirt. It's a baby.

This will be baby #3 for the Burton household and we're both darn excited and scared to death. At this point, I minimize my panic by not thinking past Christmas and only occassionally considering life past March 1st (the expected date). Simply because I have no idea what to expect and I think attempting to go with the flow on this one might be the key to sanity.

Some interesting observations / comments from others about a third pregnancy I've found...

1. WHY?
Everyone asks why we're having a third? I don't know, maybe because we thought it was a great idea!? We already have a boy & a girl so there's an assumption that this new baby must have been an unplanned surprise. Our baby was a planned surprise, not taking its time the way his/her siblings did so we feel even more blessed to add to our family (blessed but see above note, a bit anxious like any new parent feels about the upcoming adventure).

2. Are you crazy?
Here are some of the vote of confidence responses I've heard from some very so supportive friends ;)
- I can only handle two, I have no idea how you won't go nuts. (sorry, can't promise that)
- They are soooo expensive! Three! Really!??? (as one friend of mine says, babies are as expensive as you make them)
- You have no time as it is, how will you fit in another child? (I don't know either. Sleep less maybe?)
- They are SO close! (interestingly there is 27 month gap this time too and no one thought it was close last time?)
- The world is built for families of four, not five (um, thanks but the bun is in the oven, not open for debate at this point..)

3. No celebration.
I read an article once about how some researchers consider pregnancy to be addictive because of the adoration women feel when pregnant and wanting to recoup that feeling. With a first baby, okay, admittedly there is some fawning and adoring traits you feel from others. With a second baby there might be an occasional foot rub from hubby and more help with the household chores perhaps.

With a third, I think I have a sticky note on my back that says "It's my third". There is no recognition from others (even strangers!) and even less attention from your own self. Without realising it you still haul the big kids around (a first pregnancy you wouldn't even lift your grocery bags!), you still vacuum like an athlete, and you almost forget prenatal appointments because they are pain to schedule versus being the highlight of your month. No one treats you with kid gloves, pregnancy emotions are no longer a fine excuse for anything (you've learned better) and there is simply a lack of celebration. Anyone suggesting this pregnancy is addictive has never had more than one child. period.

4. Babies are bad for business
For this self-employed work-at-home-mom, there might be some point to that comment. The time I already steal in order to fit in some work time is about to decrease and yes, maybe the business will show some wear & tear because of it. But later on when we yearn for that 3rd child, can you really say you chose not to have another one because it was a business decision? Life will adjust and give accordingly (that's my plan anyways).

I'm blogging about this because it's probably one of the only times I will actually sit down to write about this miracle growing inside me. That's what it is -- a pure miracle. But this miracle is not going to get a pregnancy journal where I note all my feelings and its heart rate & head to rump stats....

But this pregnancy instead of being remembered not for my connection to my growing belly but my memories will be eternally linked to the responses of its siblings to the new situation. My belly is covered daily with preschool & toddler kisses. The baby will be christened Shay-le-la by its 4-year old sister. There is an expectation that Santa will deliver this baby for Christmas (despite the due date of March). There's an outright refusal by the toddler to even acknowledge that something called "belly" could also mean "baby". And so on.

Our pregnancy is redefined by our life now and that doesn't mean it has any less meaning than a first focused pregnancy did.

At end of the day, the decision to have a third for us feels incredibly right. The chaos and hair-pulling of the next few years was not the motivating factor in making our family larger, but the view of the people at our dining room table in years to come that motivated us. We all want to be surrounded by people we love and cherish and we're so pleased to be able to make three of those people from scratch.